Wry Exchange

Blog Tour 14-Bizarro
07-12-08, 12:12 am
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“Imagine, if you will, that you live on the planet Htrae, where things are opposite- like, children are rewarded for being rude to their teachers, and women go to the ugly parlor. You are going to a wedding, where the stories on the front page of this websiteare examples of stellar behavior. What would you do to assist in the “best” wedding on Htrae?”
 I’m in a silly mood, so I’ll go along with it.  I enjoy the forums on the website, the stories are great. Some people have unbelievable relatives, crazy ‘co-irkers’, and nasty neighbors.  

  • Offer to take entrance fees from the guests at the reception, for a 5% cut of the profits. 
  • Instead of bouquets, each bridesmaid could carry a bottle of  Jack Daniel’s whiskey up the aisle.
  • Encourage the groom’s mom to ‘let it all out’ and cry loudly at the thought of her baby boy marrying such a harlot.
  • Congratulate the bride’s dad on his daughter’s ability to snag a wealthy groom.
  • Write a check for the wedding gift, and it bounces.
  • Bring extra guests, including tired, cranky children.  Let the kids ‘taste’ the cake before it’s cut.
  • Ask the groom if he has a pre-nup.
  • Ask the bride if she has a good life insurance policy, and is the groom the beneficiary.
  • Compliment the bride on all of her visible tattoos, including her tramp stamp.
  • Open some of the gifts and envelopes.  Switch cards if someone else gave a better gift.
  • Assure the happy couple that “You may now kiss the bride” means tongue and a little groping.
  • Have the bridesmaids and groomsmen take frequent smoke breaks outside. as a group. near the doorway.  with ‘herbal’ cigarettes.  Oh wait, that was MY wedding.  Oopsie.
  • If the bride is a few minutes late, the best man should have a joint to share with the nervous groom behing the altar.  Damn, my wedding again!

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