Wry Exchange

How Not to Write an Application
11-14-08, 3:01 am
Filed under: Outbounds Outbounds | Tags:

  Do you smoke, drink, or do drugs?: “Yes.”
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? “Yes.”
Describe your weak points:  “I really can’t think of any.”
Describe your classes: “I’m taking Algebra one because I failed the 9th grade state graduation test.”
Describe your strengths: “I’m a leader.” (When the rest of the application shows absolutely no leadership qualities or positions.)  “Languages.” (So why did you receive C’s in foreign languages the last 3 years?)
Have you ever travelled outside the US?: “One weekend 2 Summers ago, my Uncle Floyd took me, my Grandma J, my cousin Jethro, and my little brother Bodine to Niagara Falls in his red Ford truck.  It was really fun!  We spent the whole weekend in Canada, and on and on.”
Why do you want to be an exchange student?:  “I want to teach people in other countries about the best country in the world.”  “I want to share my religion.”
Where do you want to go and why?-“England, because I know the language.”  “Germany-they have castles.”
What is your favorite book?-“I don’t like books.”  “I only read comic books. “Manga.”
What do you enjoy?-“Sleeping.”
What bothers you?-“Little kids.”  “Meateaters.” “People telling me what to do.”
What are your hobbies? “I love to play WoW for hours and hours.”


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