Wry Exchange


Travel is Fun
01-26-09, 11:19 pm
Filed under: Home

I lie.  Husband and I were gone for over a week.  We are happy to be home.  GoodDobie was too excited to sleep, he panted and pawed.  BadLab wanted to play catch at 2:ooam.  My dad watched them, and spoiled them.

Flying sucks.  I used to love airports and flying away.  Us lowly coach rats can’t use the first class lavatories for ‘safety reasons.’  Maybe they mean the first class passengers will riot?
Coach smells like feet, peanuts, and farts.  Our plane doesn’t have video screens, so no movies or old “Everyone Loves Raymond’ shows.  As everyone’s Ipod and laptop batteries drained, they started looking through the Skymall catalogs.  Do you think their sales have increased?   Wine is seven dollars.  The flight attendants didn’t have many takers their first time through the cabin, but business was brisk after 4 hours of mindnumbing boredom. 
I might not be so pissy if my overhead light would stay on instead of slowly blinking like a lighthouse.
The flight was delayed, some kids were yelling ‘fag’ to each other while boarding, another guy yapped on his cell while we were taxiing, and another man kept telling him to turn the phone off,  and called him an idiot really loud, but you expect all that.
OK,  I was just going to post this, but our night got even more fun.  The car died on the way home from the airport in 2 degree weather.   The fuel line froze, so we called AAA.  They sent a moron, with an assistant.  They said all four of us couldn’t fit into the truck’s cab.  (They knew we were 2 people.)  Chief Moron told us we should call a taxi, because he was the Owner, and he wanted to teach Assistant to drive a stickshift.  (At 11 at night, in snow, on a freeway.)  I called AAA privately, AAA must have called them, because they DROVE AWAY.  Did I mention the car was so cold that the windows were completed frosted over from the inside?  
I called AAA again, and said ‘I think I pissed off the towtruck driver, because he just pulled away without saying anything.’  They made him return after dropping off Assistant somewhere.   We were 35 miles from home.  When he returned, he hooked up the car, and only said one sentence for the entire trip.  “What’s the quickest way?”   He unhooked the car, and drove off quickly before Husband could say anything.  Guess he assumed he wasn’t receiving a tip.
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